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Locating birth parents is not just about locating people, it involves compassion and understanding.

A little story about my job as an adoption investigator that reveals finding birth parents is not just about locating people.

I was hired to confirm and contact a client’s birth mother in which he was told his birth was a result of a sexual assault.

After confirming we indeed had the right person, I called her and we had a very nice conversation. At first she was hesitant to talk to me, but I explained my purpose and she understood and then opened up to me as much as she was willing.

The birth mother did confirm that she was raped by a man who was later convicted for raping another woman. She did not go into details of that day. She said her kids all knew about my client, but it was never discussed after she told them about what happened.

The birth mother indicated that she was perfectly healthy and she had no medical conditions that need attention. I told her about my client’s accomplishments (4 higher education degrees) and she said she was not surprised. Both her grandfather and her great grandfather were doctors.

After gaining the birth mother‘s trust in me and spending over 20 minutes talking to her, she said it would be okay for him to write to her. She also told me that she was willing to save my number in her contacts on her phone. This was huge! I really didn’t know where this was going. The fact that she was actually receptive and she understood why I contacted her, made this case so special. All my client wanted to know was where he came from and to know his family medical history so he can share that with his twin daughters. Peace of mind was certainly accomplished here.

As I continue to solve these cases (several thousand over the years), I always am very careful and compassionate in what I say and how I come across. This is something I’m very proud of.

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